An evil rant that I should be admonished for, as adults do not have emotions and are only hurt if they are pathetic trash

How do I get out of my room more if whenever I leave my room I get a lecture about how I never leave my room? How do I stop caring about making mistakes when I have been fed permanent record scaremongering all my life and the same people who want me to get out and be okay with making mistakes hound me for things I could have done years ago to remedy the situation but didn't? Am I just not taking enough of the magic medicine that takes away my right to complain about not having energy? Do I need to take all of it at once? Should I have done more fucking extracurriculars as a fetus?