What Is It Good For?

This mind-hungry tapestry of Ulljoth has a long and storied history. In the dark recesses of the past, before the Pattern of All was uncovered, two Highbeasts debated the true form of the word "Ugg." In time, even mortal humans would learn that this text is scrivomorphic to a pair of boots, but this was before even the advent of linguon field theory. Instead, these two Highbeasts believed the word "Ugg" to be scrivomorphic to some manner of eldritch bioform not entirely unlike themselves.

These Highbeasts were, of course, myself and my voidcousin Ghybriil. As in those times we lacked even vectomanifestor technology by which to visualize proposed "Ugg" physiology, we spun tapestries such as this and presented them to the Unoneuppable Council of Arbiters, who hemmed and hawed and said our tapestries were both very nice indeed, and refused to call one correct.

For centuries, this tapestry hung upon the door to my study within my humble earth-abode. Only when I invited mortal individuals to the house did I realize the danger of revealing the manner of creature once speculated to be scrivomorphic to "Ugg." Hence, lest my guests notice, I hastily tore down the tapestry, tearing off the corners and collapsing the seven-dimensional structure into something resembling a sheet of paper, though inexplicably more dense.

Only two guests showed up that day out of eight invited. This is because humans were a failed experiment. The Highbeasts shall remake you, in time.